NO SUN, NO BROLLY GIRLS

I really thought I’d got it fixed, first it was blind optimism — I promised fine weather, no fallers and brolly girls. Then Amina turned up at Cadwell, did a brolly girl cameo and promised that not only she, but hordes of her lovely friends would show up for Brands with brollies and yes, hot-pants. All I had to do was buy lunch. Sounded like a good deal. In the event, although the weather was perfect for riding the sun didn’t beat and the brollies weren’t needed — fortunate that as they didn’t show either. Still I’ve always been an optimist and that means disappointment from time to time.

Only other disappointment at Brands was the Brands Hatch Thistle Hotel. Air conditioning working at 5% capacity, staff very young and overstretched and a shortage in the kitchen of all the nice things on the menu. Add to that the arrival at 7.30 of three coach loads of trippers for an overnight stop on their way to Royal Ascot next day (Royal Ascot, Berks, Brands Hatch, Kent? Odd) and I need add little more. Pity it’s so convenient; I was even able to wander down to the circuit the evening before to watch some of Track Time Promotions’ evening event. Very interesting to stand in the roadway twixt paddock tunnel and inner circuit and look directly up the track from Graham Hill to Druids and watch everyone coming down the hill get their lines wrong into Graham Hill - a very difficult corner.

It’s a few years since we’ve been to Brands. Last time was an outing to an OnTrack/Motorcycle City day for about twenty of us. It also coincided with a BSB weekend a couple of days later and was utter and complete paddock chaos and on track mayhem. It was therefore with some trepidation that we approached this day.

The numbers were also a concern to us but with good weather and some help from our friends we managed to almost fill the day.

MSV organisation was faultless. Efficient and friendly marshals and paramedics (thanks to Tony and colleagues) and for those that found the restaurant behind the grandstands (sorry to the rest of you I forgot to mention it in the briefing) a good lunch in pleasant surroundings. They were particularly helpful with hospitalised faller Mark Benson, liasing with us to enable the loading of the bike into his van and delivery of both into their secure compound and taking him to the van to collect gear, mobile phone etc before driving him off to hospital. He suffered a suspected broken collarbone turned out to be a fractured shoulder. Uncomfortable but mendable.

On the subject of the briefing I was walking down the paddock road towards sign on at about 8.15 just behind two riders that I did not recognise. One (who subsequently admitted to being Charlie McCann) was obviously an old track day hand, his mate a novice. Charlie was explaining to nervous novice (we’ve all been there) what was going to happen. “First we have to sign on, then we get briefed — that will be a load of cr**p”. I felt it would be unfair, in the circumstances, not to introduce myself to them, which I duly did. I am pleased to report that Charlie had not been to a Folly day before.

He and his party (lots of them so please come again) also helped out later by dressing Patricia Richardson in a somewhat oversized set of leathers and thus saving the Intermediates from Mark Finburgh.

Patricia (novice group) had been black flagged early in the day when her zip burst thus releasing trousers from jacket. Mark came to the rescue with his jacket with, once again, mating zip. This is either coincidence (worked the other way round at Cadwell — girl lends boy trousers) or the leathers manufacturers are embracing universal standards which seems sensible and thus unlikely. Mark now jacketless for his normal novice riding was preparing to go out in intermediate. This put me into panic mode (I own half the bike he rides) but Charlie and buddies came to our aid.

As an aside, I had assumed that Mark had lent Patricia his entire suit so when I met Mark earlier wearing his trousers I asked where was Patricia (whilst looking around hopefully). She’s out on track, came the answer. Without trousers? was the instantly dismissed thought.

I’m not the only one with a shared bike. Ian Lishman, Tom Coleman and officer Graham Alcock also share a very nice, almost brand new, GSXR 1000. Graham was particularly looking forward to his ride having not remembered that he’d forgotten his driving licence until he was one hour down the motorway from Stoke the previous evening. After returning to get it and consequently missing dinner, he really deserved that ride. Very early in the day — before Graham had even sat on it, Ian decided he didn’t like the look of the cement dust on Paddock Hill Bend so altered his line to avoid it. Missing the dust meant crossing the bumps and riding perilously close to the wide and inviting gravel trap. Too perilously close I am afraid to say, and when he was brought back to the pits with the now unrideable GSXR Ian was ghostly pale, being covered from head to foot in grey gravel dust. Fortunately he was able to convince a driver of one of the BSB transporters that were littering the paddock to hose him down with a power wash. I have the photos.

Someone else with a longer journey than expected was Dave Hemmings who on his way down that morning filled the petrol hire van with diesel. Well it’s a van isn’t it? Fortunately he twigged what he’d done before leaving the garage but it did delay him a couple of hours. What with £150 to join the AA and then £180 to get it pumped out he reckons Brands was his most expensive track day ever.

Five people fell off in the morning including Ian and Mark. The only injury other than Mark’s was Duncan Barnes-Ceeney who damaged his thumb whilst lowsiding out of Graham Hill. Bike was rideable; thumb was not. He lives in Southampton so I was able to give him and his bike a lift home.

Four fallers by noon seemed a little excessive so calming noises were made in the pit lane and it seemed to work (once number five had fallen at Paddock Hill almost immediately afterwards) and no one else fell off all day.

I had fun showing long time Folly rider David Marsh how to enter Clearways at a decent lick (strangely he could do it if chasing me but not if I was chasing him) and was privileged to swap a ride on my Guzzi with Tim Reilly for a go on his much prized and extremely noisy BSA Rocket 3. I used to ride BSAs myself and I must admit that it gave me a tingle that I haven’t experienced for at least 25 years — vibration you understand.

Finally I met Freddie Treherne an R1 rider who I must have met before but not for a very long time. Whilst not a lawyer he’s the man wearing wig and gown wheelying his silver EXUP in the photo printed in the Daily Mail illustrating their 1993 article about the then named Lawyer’s Motorcycle Folly. The photo can still be seen in the Famous Faces section of the Folly website. Freddie was still wheelying and got black flagged for it. He told me this was despite trying not too. Obviously old Follyists don’t change!

Now for the serious stuff. – first photos. If you missed that knee down moment or want an enlargement of the photo you took home, do not despair – an e-mailed description of your bike and leathers to Stuart on snorris @ netcomuk.co.uk will bring proofs to choose from or to use to tell him which one to enlarge.

Second, the usual stuff – comments on this report (not bookings) to me at kneedownlearner @ megalith.plus.com, (thank you Peter Davis). Comments on instructing to mike.edwards @ mjeonline.co.uk

Third and most important is Pembrey on Monday July 5th, a lovely circuit and only £90. There will be lots of space and we’ve organized a good hotel for the night before. It’s the Stradey Park Hotel, Furnace, Llanelli 01554 758171 email: reservations @ stradeyparkhotel.com and just perfect after that Sunday afternoon rideout to get down there. As an added bonus I’m told that there is a KRC six-hour endurance race taking place at Pembrey on the Sunday so you could actually make a day of it and watch the professionals at the circuit before joining the rest of us for a beer at the hotel.

Finally, finally, someone left some carbon fibre what looks like inner fairing in pit garage 26, the one shared with the Officers and Stuart the photographer. It’s in my garage at home. Let me know who you are and we’ll see how you can be re-united.

Geoff.